THE STORIES
Susan’s story
I met my ex-common-law partner in 1976: I was a naive, young 18-year-old and he was 10 years my senior. We lived in town until May of 1978 when our first child was born. While I was in the hospital, he moved our trailer/mobile home onto the farm. That was when the relationship changed. I could not do anything right, I was too stupid and slow, according to him.
He always made me feel that I could do nothing right or good: I did not look like some friend of his, I didn’t cook like his Mom, I was lazy, I was sloppy. He made me feel that I was the one that needed to be fixed and I thought I was the one that had something wrong with me. He made me feel worthless, useless, and not worthy of living.
Living on the farm made me feel completely isolated: I did not drive for the first few years and my friends felt uncomfortable visiting our home, especially if he was there. I lost their friendship as a result. I even lost touch with my first foster family and extended family for a period. I had no knowledge of resources available for troubled women like me.
Finally I came to the conclusion, due to my failing health, that I needed to leave the farm one way or another. On December 9th, 1998, 22 years after the relationship began, a friend helped me leave. Eileen and I drove down to Cochrane were we met my cousin, Valerie. From there, I went to the Eagle’s Nest Shelter in Morley. The shelters in the city of Calgary were full and it was December. From there, I started my healing process and applied to the Youville women’s residence program.
I discovered who I was, that it was not my fault, it was not all my problem and that I was/am a very good person, both inside and out. I even love my name, Susan, now. It is a part of who I am. I have accomplished so much over the years and I know my journey is not over. Now I strive to mentor others in need of support and help them to gain their life back by showing them you can survive this.
